Pain in the Eyes

When I look in the mirror in my eyes
I see a different facet of my own self

The eyes which used to have hope and desire
Are now blood-shod with pain and fire

Those eyes which used to dream high and glide
Are now trying to conceal pain hidden in pride

Those eyes which used to tell me that I am on my way
Are now telling me that I am miles away in dismay

Those eyes which used to sing songs of love and romance
Are now completely silent and riveted in a trance

Those eyes which used to guide others to faith in oneself
Are now themselves searching for a streak of hope in myself

Those eyes which used to show compassion and love for myself
Are looking like that they just want to stab me in heart to their relief

Those eyes which used to take away tears of others
Are now trying to avoid flooding for the sake of others

Those eyes which used to take pride in their oceanic depth
Are now as shallow as a paddling pool too inept

 Those eyes which used to see shimmer of stars in themselves
Are now trying to search the end of an unending well which in them dwells

Whenever I look in the mirror in my eyes
It amazes me how things change in just a blink...

I try to make myself believe

I try to make myself believe

That I am blinded by light, when,
I know it is pitch black around me.

That One is the horizon for me, when,
I know that One is as far from me as sky from sea.

That i am a deer grazing the vast green meadows, when,
I know that i am standing thirsty amidst a inimical desert.

That i am flying high in the blue skies, when,
I know that i am falling down a dark deep trench.

That love is a victory march with me leading it, when,
I know that its a stampede with me being at the bottom.

That the shimmer is see is that of the pearls, when,
I know that its the desolate dullness of my tears.

That the life is not as bad as it seems to be, when,
I know that its worse than what it seems to be. . . .

The Train

The train rang its deafening hooter,
And started to move soon after.

I had no idea what my future would be,
But it was sure to change after this journey.

I had two days to think about the past,
Amazingly memories took over me so fast.

I felt that thoughts of her would drain,
As the rail tracks are left behind the train.

Instead more and more thoughts crept in,
Like the unending tracks that lay ahead waiting.

As i looked out of the window,
Everything seemed to be her shadow.

As the winds slushed past my ears,
I dont know from where i heard her whisper.

The train then passed across a mighty river,
Its depth easily challenged by pearly eyes of her.

Then the snake crawled across a colorful mile,
All turned pale in front of her cute smile.

Far i saw mountain peaks touching the unending sky,
Magnifica of this touch equalled a small tap of her hand on my.

More and more thoughts drew me to some other land,
As the train moved steadily to its destination.

After reflection on the whole course of my journey,
I understood this is something that cannot do away with me.


Thanks to the train. :-)

I want to....

I wanted to fly high in the sky,
But the weight on me did not let me even try.

I wanted to touch the stars and the sun,
But I had to be content with a pebble downtrodden.

I wanted the world to stop while I hold her hand,
But what i got was, like time flowing sand.

I wanted to have dreams of her beauty,
But i got nightmares of her going away from me.

I wanted to laugh out loud,
But my throat always choked out.

I wanted to feel the cool breeze around,
But what I always got is a chill, death bound.

I wanted to enjoy a lot of things,
But my pain trimmed my wings.

Now I want to cry out with tears,
But my eyes dry up even before they appear.

I want to shout out loud like some mad,
But the noise around me kills it before I had.

I want to hurt myself to the last limit,
But something bigger overshadows that limit.

This is the story of my life,
Never get to do what I want in my life.